managing your parents

some jumbled thoughts:

 

-  preemption.  call your parents before they call you.  do this whether you are 15 or 50 years old.  this prevents random calls on say, a friday night date.  tell them enough about your life for them to feel like they know what's going on.

-  don't upset them.  one friend approaches it like this: "i don't bother letting my parents know i live in san francisco [they think she lives in safe suburbs].  why worry them?  they are old and have worked hard -- i don't want to upset them."  i'm not sure i agree. generally, i feel like transparency is a good thing.  but i see her point -- why potentially upset your parents especially if you don't see them very often.  if keeping the peace means pretending large parts of your life don't exist, so be it 

-  partner / friendship.  i'd like to think, instead, that my parents are friends and potential advisors.  they have a lot of wisdom, even if it's based on the world 20 years ago.  so i mine my mom for her perspectives on things like:  how to move forward in times of uncertainty, how to do finance stuff, how to decide if someone is your life partner, and deciding when is a good time to have children.  i'm not sure if the partnership approach is good either though -- it may be inviting too much commentary.