buni

writes in her blog about the truths/fictions boys have about her: "better on paper than in person," "cordial but not genuinely warm to strangers, current affairs-oriented and not ensconced in the beauty of art, the lust of life." 

 

i don't know.  yes, she's amazing on paper, but i think she's even better in real life.  the naureen i know is beautiful, maddeningly contradictory, detached yet warm, defiant, strong and vulnerable, empathetic, caring, self-absorbed, angryangstylonely, creative, really fucking smart and totally awesome.  she:

• jumped off a twenty-foot cliff into some water even though she didn't know how to swim.  wandered around the woods with me even though she's in love with cities.
  
• did donuts in her silver integra in a high school parking lot because it's thrilling to drive in circles.
  
• hosted a zaireeka listening party because hearing different music from all directions delights / disorients the senses and mind.
• tried to convince me to quit piano and join her philosophy club so we could talk about nietszche.
  
• calls me some times.  usually we talk about boys and how they hurt us.
  

i wonder how we are friends.  naureen is cloudy-gloomy, and i always want the sun to shine.  i wonder if i met her now what i would think of her and whether she'd think i was too "corporate" to be friends with.

 

i think we believe / understand some fundamental things though:

• it's okay to be hesitant/unsure
• things are complicated
• sixteen, clumsy, and shy, that's the story of my life
• this isn't all there is and if we are honest with ourselves we can figure it out
• blue bell ice cream and pecan pies are delicious